a year in photos part 1 (photos taken by me)

so i saw on another blog someone who posted one picture a month...their favorite picture or their favorite memory...to recap the year.  i wanted to do that, but i had such a hard time limiting it to just one!  so, i decided to split it into two sections.  the first (this one) being photos taken by me.  the second (soon to come) is photos taken by others, but with my camera. i also struggled between choosing my favorite memory from each month and my favorite picture.  sometimes they matched and sometimes they didn't.  hopefully the second set will reconcile these a bit, but the honorable mention might as well. 

so here they are, my favorite picture from each month of 2011.

january

 in january we hopped in a plane and flew to colorado for some skiing.  i had never seen the rockies up close before and they were glorious.  a whole different kind of beauty than the blue ridge.  we had an excellent time with luke’s family. 

february

in february luke had his lasic eye surgery. this is hands down my favorite picture of february because it cracks me up.  he had to wear these weird eye-protectors for two weeks after the surgery. 

march

in march two of my sisters came up to visit and we spent a lovely afternoon at eastern market.  the capitol hillbillies were playing and we listened for awhile.  this is probably my favorite picture that i took that afternoon.  i don’t remember much of march.  i think that jenny and her boyfriend also came up, but i just didn’t take many pictures.  march is also when i started a new full-time job, so the business might have something to do with it...

april

in april we moved from our first apartment together into a community home in anacostia.  we love our new home, and i honestly can't believe that we moved there in april...it seems like we've been there so long.  anyways, this was our very last picture together in our apartment before we turned the keys in.  good bye, rock creek church road ne!

may

in may my mom's side all got together to surprise my pappap on his 90th birthday.  it was a wonderful trip, and we all had a lot of fun.  i love this picture of my grandma and pappap during the flurry of pictures we were taking.  they are pretty cool and inspiring.

june

so much happened during the summer, and a lot of my honorable mentions will come from june, july and august.  however, this picture from june when our friend, kevin, came up to dc is probably my favorite.  during that visit we went to the zoo and went tubing (and i lost my tiny camera...) they are so comfortable in their masculinity...

july

july was another one of those months when so.much.happened.  during the fourth of july fireworks were going off EVERYWHERE.  there were some teens and kids setting these off in the alley behind our house and i joined in and took some pictures.  the kids would get up so close and then the sparks would fly and they would run away screaming.  time after time after time.  it was a lot of fun.

august

we spent the last half of july and august in india.  it was beautiful and so affirming of the call luke and i have felt for awhile now.  during our time in k-town we volunteered with the sisters of charity.  serving in this place taught me lessons that i am still learning about now.  this picture is also telling because of the crazy flood waters.  it was raining so hard!

september

i struggled with the picture for september because we had several great pictures.  but i think the most meaningful memory i had was our last baseball game in nats park.  we've had a could of "last" games because we always thought we would be leaving dc.  this one was indeed our last, for now.  we had a good time.

october

i took a lot of beautiful pictures on our annual apple picking event with jordan and valerie in october but this was my favorite. look at the excitement and the joy =)  i love them.

november

november was beautiful, with beautiful weather, beautiful leaves and beautiful people.  we had 16 people at our thanksgiving meal, plus one dog and one cat.  the weekend was fun.

december

thus far, december has been filled with hard stuff, good time with family and meaningful time with God.  i think the most uplifting time was the spiritual retreat we went on in mid-december.  this little kitten followed me around for the morning of our second day, but the time at corhaven, the spiritual retreat center, was refreshing.

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so those are my top 12 for the year.  a few honorable mentions include:

january honorable mention

another picture from telluride ski trip.

march honorable mention.

another picture from katie and christie's visit to dc and eastern market. 

may honorable mention.

a picture from our trip to pennsylvania.  i think this field is stunning.

july honorable mention.

luke and i celebrated our 3rd anniversary with a double header baseball game and a picnic.  it was perfect.

august honorable mention.

kites fling in delhi.  it was more beautiful than my little camera could capture.

september honorable mention.

we had our first block party.  the little girl on the left loved taking pictures with me camera.  this family was beautiful.

october honorable mention.

 we went to michigan for kali and charlie teater's wedding.  it was beautiful and they were sweet.  i really liked capturing both of them with their father's during the father-daughter dance.

november honorable mention.

we went to teddy roosavelt island to collect leaves for decorations and hike around.  this little boy wanted to do exactly what luke was doing but swore it was his own idea.  it was pretty cute.

november honorable mention.

 the beginning of the christmas season.  we went to the botanical gardens with our families the friday after thanksgiving to herald it in. it was a lot of fun and extremely beautiful.

december honorable mention.

celebrating ellen's birthday at the gaylord with the housemates.  we rode the elevator a couple of times so we could see the decorations from up high and ride the super-fast elevator.

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so there's the first round!  pictures taken by others to come shortly!

another letter.

Dear Tim,

I am certain that you are in a better place now, but we still miss you.

Today, we had your memorial service.  Pathways helped organize it, and it was a really special service.  You touched a lot of lives out there.  Even some of the community members who just new you from Panhandling stopped by during the service and shed a few tears.  In case you didn't know it while you were here, a lot of people loved you.

People had some really good memories of you.  You were a pretty sweet guy.  A lot of people appreciated your gentleness and humility, as well as your ability to care for other people.  Though Kat reminded us all to keep it real--so I have to say we're all pretty sad that you were really unable to take care of yourself well.

Your service was a really special, and I think it reminded a lot of us exactly how life should be.  We had a lot of people, creeds, races, socio-economic statuses, and sexualities.  We all came together to celebrate your life and to remember what you meant to all of us.  I think you would have really liked it.

I miss you and your high-fives, your stories and our discussions about what you read in your Bible.  But El and I talked today, and we can both imagine you smiling down on us, and sitting, laughing with Jesus.  And I think that's pretty awesome.

more.

"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy."
Jesus looked at him and loved him.  "One thing you lack," he said.  "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then, come, follow me."
At this the man's face fell.  He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

I read this passage this weekend.  After an incredibly long and exhausting week.  A week that left me wondering what the point of this life is.  In the past month I have had two clients pass away.  Two.  And it was sudden.  Unexpected.  And harsh.

The reality of it all is, I found out in my therapy session this week, is that I'm angry.  It is not fair.  And as I'm recovering from shock I find myself questioning why God has us on this planet.  I'm reconsidering my definition of "success", which currently is disturbingly close to what "success" means in the United States.  I would be lying if I said that there weren't more times than not this week when I wanted to lock myself in my room and hide under the bed until this world comes to an end.  Sometimes it just hurts too much.

In the midst of all of this I read the story of the rich young ruler.  I've heard numerous messages on this, and other passages in the Bible where the message is, "you just have to be willing to sell all your possessions, Jesus really doesn't want you to do it..." and my question has always been "why not?".  But I think this weekend I realized that both of these responses are wrong.

The point is that we're missing something.  Jesus didn't look at this young man and feel sarcasm, or anger, or frustration.  He didn't look at this young man and feel like saying something snarky or giving him an impossible task.  No, Jesus looked at him and loved him.

This wording has always stood out to me, because I never understood it.  This was Jesus offering something to this man, but certainly he knew that the man would not accept.  Why, then, did Jesus love this man, who would turn towards his earthly possessions and away from Jesus?

This week it hit me.  Jesus did love the man, so he wanted to offer him more to life than he was living.  More than the old law, more than what this earth had to offer, more life than the rich young ruler would be able to handle.  More.  More is offered here.  A relationship with the Son of God Himself.  More.

And I realized that when we say "of course Jesus doesn't want you to sell all your things" OR when we say "of course Jesus DOES want you to sell all your things" we're missing the point.  The point is FOLLOWING Jesus.  The point is not drawing lines.  The point is not trying to figure out what Jesus didn't mean, but rather accepting all that He does mean.

I find comfort and solace so often in things of this world.  But then when this world lets me down I wonder what the point of this life is.  But this is the point: whatever this world has to offer, Jesus has more. 

It makes me sad to realize what all I must be missing because I search for what God is NOT asking me to do, rather than what He is.  This is where the pharisees got it wrong, and where I think we get it wrong today, too.  Following Jesus doesn't always mean doing the hardest thing, or selling all we have, and sometimes it does, but what we fail to recognize is that whatever Jesus asks us to do it's worth it because He wants us to join Him, and He wants to offer us more. 

living broken.

"no one has ever accused me of being gentle"  i told my spiritual director.  "maybe i need to work on that."  i sighed and added another thing to my list.
"no," she said softly, "you need to be gentled."

i've lived a life of exasperation these past few weeks.  anger at work, frustration in relationships, sadness with clients.  all of these have added to a load that i feel has grown quite heavy.  on top of that God has been humbling me in so many ways...showing me my brokenness when i just want to blame others for theirs, making me face my judgmental attitudes head on. 

i am so broken.  and as i listen to beloved music during this advent season i find myself longing for Emmanuel to come, for the bells to answer me that the wrong shall fail and right prevail.  this place, this world, is. so. broken.

and i'm homesick.  i am longing for a new heaven and a new earth.  and to be gentled.

but here i am.  in a broken world.  living broken.  and (sometimes unfortunately) it is not my personality to back down.

but this Messiah that i long for and anxiously await made a promise for the time being.  the waiting period.

" come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  for My yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

sometimes being gentle and humble are scary.  it's a loss of control and a loss of the right to be correct and even (at least it feels sometimes...) a loss of justice.  but really it is placing the trust that all will be cared for in the hands of whom it belongs.

for now, i will allow Him to gentle me.

but my heart still longs for Emmanuel to come.