Sleep Deprived

I have not slept well this week. I don't know why. Maybe it's the huge pending change in my life occurring in 4 days. Or maybe...no, it's probably the huge change...

I like to think that I don't worry as much as I used to. When I was younger(think elementary and middle school) before school started I would usually be up all night just thinking about school, worrying about whether or not people would like me...really trivial stuff.

But now it's big stuff. You know, like where are we going to live...how are we going to live...etc. And I don't feel worried about it during the day...in fact, I feel like I'm going on an adventure, a crazy wild adventure where the only way we are ever going to survive is if God does some major coming through for us...and He will, and I know that this is trivial, for:

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Nevertheless my nights have been a series of tosses and turns peppered with nightmares that the mafia is after me (I should really watch less Law and Order...) and for some reason I just can't sleep. Maybe God is pursuing my wayward and undisciplined heart...but my Bible is in the other room and I am locked in here because of my terrifying nightmare (juvenile, I know...) But then it hits me. I really am like the little middle school girl, up in the middle of the night because I am worried about school. And while my problems seem bigger to me, they aren't to God and really I am still juvenile...and I always will be. Which is why God invites us to call Him "Father" and why He keeps reminding me I can't make it on my own, whether through nightmares while I sleep or what could be disastrous in four days...but really it's just one big adventure, right?

This all might be nonsense. But it is 4:30 in the morning.

In other news, since the political scene is here, so it political satire. And I do love the political satire, I have to admit. And these guys are a recent discovery (made by my mother-in-law) and they make me laugh. I hope they'll give you a chuckle, too.

I'm off to battle the mafia. Goodnight.