once upon a time.

we once had a bird feeder that was held by suction cups to our living room window. it was bright green and we were afraid that it would fall off, so we never kept it more than half full of bird seed at a time. birds never came to it. we waited and waited for months and they never came. then one day, after a very bad day, i came home to find it shattered on the drive outside our apartment building. i cried and luke gave me a hug and said that it would be okay.

last week i decided to put some birdseed on the ledge outside our window to see if the birds would come and eat. they did. and now, every once in a while, when the windows are open, i hear little chirps and cracking noises and i look up to see little sparrows sitting outside our window.

luke and i have been memorizing Bible verses recently. our first goal is to memorize philippians. i have a hard time with memorizing verses because as i read them, instead of memorizing them i think about what they mean to me, to the way i act, think and talk, to the way i go about my life. this happened when i came across philippians 1:7, which reads "being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." i realize that the significance this has on my life is twofold. first, that God DID start a good work in me (even though, especially recently, i have not felt as such) and that second He will carry it on to completion (an argument for patience, yes?).

i also must realize that this is not only a promise in me, but a promise for the world. luke showed me this article yesterday, and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. and when i think about it i cry.

my heart aches for His justice and for His mercy. for a time when they will reign together in perfect harmony. for His kingdom to come.

i know that i haven't written much recently. i have hardly written about our weekend with servants to asia's urban poor in oklahoma city. honestly, i think it was too good to put into words. but there we sang songs of justice to God. i've been singing one in my head recently, so i will close with that.

o, this night is dark indeed
while we're waiting for the light
for the nations to be judged
and the powers to be put to shame
o, Lord, spare Your poor,
save our soul
from our violence, oppression, fear and anxiety

although i am weeping
Lord help me keep sowing
seeds for the day when Your
peace will arise with the dawn.
when the bombs we are dropping
and the guns that keep firing
melts in the face of the just
as Your kingdom comes

now i sow in tears
that one day i might weep with joy
when the mountains will drip with wine
and we beat, beat, beat our swords into plowshares