Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Pumpkin.

Luke and I just carved our first pumpkin as a family. His name is Emmet. He looks like an Emmet. He was originally supposed to have four teeth, but after an unfortunate mishap he now sits in our living room with his three-toothed grin.

Carving him was quite the ordeal, and too see pictures you are welcome to click here. It was some much needed stress
relief and laughter...sawing something open and getting all the squishy stuff out in order to create something... maybe we should do this more often.

We decided to begin the tradition this year of drying out the pumpkin seeds and baking them for a tasty treat. So I was taking some pictures and I realized something--lately I have felt like this disgusting mess that you can see below. I'm this mixture of goop and seeds, neither of which are incredibly appealing as they are, but really just as we call them--goop. It's not really good for anything...it kind of smells weird, and there isn't much use for it. In fact, unless you want to spend some time on it, there won't be any use for it at all. And recently I've felt like God doesn't want much to do with me. Luke and I just sent off our rent check today...and we don't have enough money left to pay our rent in December. I'm frustrated and confused and jumbled. I feel disgusting and vulnerable...we trusted God to help us through this...why are we still without an income when just a month and a half ago we felt so clearly called. I don't really get it. And I feel left alone, just as if we had left this goop sitting in the strainer or on the table to be thrown out with the other newspapers and pieces of unusable remains that are left after making a jack'o'lantern. But just like Luke and I are not content to let the goop be thrown out with the trash, neither is God willing to let Luke and I be (hopefully). But it's not going to be pleasant. Before we can be used the goop and slime has to be sifted and cleaned out. And then we might have to go through an intense drying-out (like of our savings maybe?) and probably some intense heat before we can come out all roasted and golden brown and ready for use. And maybe that's what's happening now. Right now our little pumpkin seeds are sitting on the oven drying out and Luke and I are in another room. Maybe, if pumpkin seeds could talk or think, they might be thinking we had abandoned them. We had grabbed them out of their cozy little inhabitance of a pumpkin and plopped them into a cold environment. Then squeezed them and roughed them up and separated them from the slime they've always known (not a very comfortable process, I can imagine...) just to let them sit on the stove on a cookie sheet. But they are not forgotten and they will be used...they just need to wait until they are ready.

Trusting in God is hard. And I'm, honestly, not very good at it. I am a selfish and spoiled child and when it hurts and I feel alone I question a lot. But I've always been able to come back and see the ways He's pulled through...and I'm trying to trust that He'll do it again.

I'll let you know how those lonely little pumpkin seeds turn out...


Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.
But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18)
...Oh that I would have faith like this...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Isn't that important?

On the fifth day, thanks again to the sheep, another secret of the little prince's life was revealed to me. Abruptly, with no preamble, he asked me, as if it were the fruit of a problem long pondered in silence:
If a sheep eats brushes, does it eat flowers, too?

A sheep eats whatever it finds.

Even flowers that have tho
rns?
Yes. Even flowers the have thorns.

Then what good are thorns?

I didn't know. At that moment I was very busy trying to unscrew a bolt that was jammed in my engine. I was quite worried, for my plane crash was beginning to seem extremely serious, and the lack of drinking water made me fear the worst.
What good are thorns?
The little prince never let go of a question once he had asked it. I was annoyed by my jammed bolt, and I answered without thinking.
Thorns are no good for anything--they're just the flowers' way of being mean!
Oh!
But after a silence, he lashed out at me, with a sort of bitterness.
I don't believe you! Flowers are weak. They're naive. They reassure themselves whatever way they can. They believe their thorns make them frightening...
I made no answer. At that moment I was thinking, If this bolt stays jammed, I'll knock it off with the hammer. Again the little prince disturbed my reflections.
Then you think flowers...
No, not at all. I don't think anything! I just said whatever came into my head. I'm busy here with something serious!
He stared at me, astounded...
...You talk just like the grown-ups!
This made me a little ashamed...
...The little prince was now quite pale with rage.
For millions of years flowers have been producing thorns. For millions of years sheep have been eating them all the same. And it's not serious, trying to understand why flowers go to such trouble to produce thorns that are good for nothing? It's not important, the war between the sheep and the flowers?...Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out in a single bite one morning, just like that, without even realizing what he's doing--isn't that important?...
...He couldn't say another word. All of a sudden he burst out sobbing. Night had fallen. I dropped my tools. What did I care about my hammer, about my bolt, about thirst and death? There was, on one star, on one planet, on mine, the Earth, a little prince to be consoled...I told him,
The flower you love is not in danger...I'll draw a muzzle for your sheep...I'll draw you a fence for your flower...I...
I didn't know what to say...It's so mysterious, the land of tears...

-Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Little Prince

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Why be scared of a hat?

Once when I was six I saw a magnificent picture in a book about the jungle called True Stories. It showed a boa constrictor swallowing a wild beast...In those days I thought a lot about jungle adventures, and eventually managed to make my first drawing, using a colored pencil. My drawing Number One looked like this:

I showed the grown-ups my masterpiece, and I asked them if my drawing scared them. They answered, "Why be scared of a hat?"

My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant. Then I drew the inside of the boa constrictor, so the grown-ups could understand. They always need explanations. My drawing Number Two looked like this:


The grown-ups advised me to pit away my drawings of boa constrictors, outside or inside, and apply myself...That is why at the age of six I abandoned my magnificent career as an artist...So then I had to choose another career, and I learned how to pilot airplanes... ...I lived all alone, without anyone I could really talk to, until I had to make a crash landing in the Sahara Desert...The first night...I went to sleep on the sand a thousand miles from any inhabited country. I was more isolated than a man shipwrecked on a raft in the middle of the ocean. So you can imagine my surprise when I was awakened at daybreak by a funny little voice saying, "Please...draw me a sheep..."
"What?"
"Draw me a sheep..."
...Since I had never drawn a sheep,
I made him one of the only two drawings I new how to make--the one of the boa constrictor from the outside. And I was astounded to hear the little fellow answer:
"No! No! I don't want an elephant inside a boa constrictor. A boa constrictor is very dangerous, and an elephant would get in the way. Where I live everything is very small. I need a sheep. Draw me a sheep..."
--Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Little Prince

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Addendum

Just a note, hitting close to home for the readers in North Carolina.

I was just reading through some notes from the last DC Task Force on Human Trafficking meeting. It turns out that a big time pimp was just prosecuted in DC for Human Trafficking. The first girl he picked up? A 16 year old who he picked up in North Carolina...within the first day she was prostituted on the street and forced to pose for pictures that were posted on Craigslist...

Crazy, huh?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Human Trafficking 101

This post has been on the tips of my fingers for a very long time.

As many of you know I am in the midst of a fellowship at Polaris Project, which is an anti-slavery group that works to combat human trafficking by changing policy, providing knowledge and helping victims. Since I've been at Polaris for a little over a month now, I thought it would be a good idea to spread my "knowledge" of the human trade to my loyal readers.

For some of you, human trafficking may be something you are aware of or have even worked on yourself. For others of you, however, this thought of the buying and selling of human beings may be completely new, and quite possibly unbelievable. However, after spending a month of my time in the client services department of Polaris Project, and after meeting several women who have, themselves, been trafficked, I can tell you, for sure, that this does exist.

Let me tell you a little bit about human trafficking.

First off, let me define it. I won't give you the legal definition, but I will give you a conglomerate of many different definitions I have heard.

Human Trafficking is the overpowering of one person's will by force, fraud or coercion in order to make a profit off of their labor or commercial sex acts.

This is something that happens globally, not just in South East Asian or Eastern European Countries. The United States is not only one of the biggest destination countries for these men, women and children, but people in the United States also traffick their own citizens. It is important to note that the word "Traffick" means the buying or selling of something, not necessarily the transportation of something. Therefore, it is possible (and often happens) that someone is trafficked--kidnapped or coerced into a situation--in his or her own city and exploited there as well, making it a trafficking situation even though he or she never crossed borders.

One misconception that I had before working with Polaris was that most of the situations of trafficking were foreign nationals being brought to the United States. In fact most of the current information and movies about human trafficking focus, almost completely, on the international situation, whether focusing on brothels in other countries, or foreign men and women brought to the United States. However, there are brothels in the United States (in Chapel Hill, NC, in fact...) and there are United States citizens who have been trafficked within United States borders. In fact, all but one of the clients that I have met or helped have been citizens of the United States.

So what I'm going to do is try to give you a broad sweeping view of what human trafficking entails. I'll leave the individual questions up to you...to post as questions in comments for further posts, or to ask me individually, as I will either be able to answer your question or ask the panel of experts that I work with and get back to you.

Before I begin I want to point out that there is a broad scale of experiences in any of the following fields, from good experiences where people are there by choice and treated well, to exploitation to trafficking. In the broad spectrum of things, only a portion of them fall into trafficking. Therefore while some people have good experiences and some have bad experiences, not all have trafficking experiences.

Labor Trafficking

Labor trafficking is not commonly known of in the United States. In fact, most people assume that labor exploitation goes on in other countries, but
not really in the U.S. Unfortunately, that's not true. The problem is bigger than just in other countries. So here are the different areas that trafficked people are commonly found in:

Domestic Workers: A surprising number of people are trafficked for household work. These situations are incredibly easy to exploit because usually the workers are foreign and cannot speak English, and the do not know their way around, or don't have the proper documentation (either their traffickers took it, or they are illegal immigrants). While they may technically be able to leave, their situation forces them to continue to stay--and the people they work for know this and take advantage of it.

Agriculture/Food Workers: Many workers in these areas are exploited, but some are trafficked. Both situations are wrong. Again, these workers are often foreign nationals who are used by the owners of farms or processing plants. Often times these owners will use labor brokers to get their workers. These labor brokers are the real traffickers, and force the men and women into their situations through confiscatio
n of documents or through debt bondage--where someone had to pay a fee to get to America, and now have to work it off. However, usually what happens in the debt bondage situation is that the labor broker will keep finding ways to make the worker go into more debt--for example, charging an outrageous amount of money for food or living necessities. The fear comes through threats of beating or threats to the family members back home.

Random: One of the saddest/craziest stories that I heard through my Polaris training was one where a family brought over 50 deaf Mexicans to New York City and forced them to go out on the streets every day with little cards and trinkets that stated that they were deaf and asked for $1. If they didn't meet their daily quota they got beat at night. They were deaf and didn't know the language. They had no way to get out.


Labor trafficking is prevalent throughout the United States, from food processors, to hotels, and even sometimes the magazine crews that to your door. You have to remember that not all cases are trafficking (not EVERYONE who comes to your door selling magazines is a trafficked person...), but it might be worth your time to just make sure they are in a legit situation.

Sex Trafficking

Sex trafficking is really the reason why I became int
erested in the anti-slavery movement. Images of women trapped in brothels or bought as sex slaves made me angry and I wanted to move towards an end. The more I learned about human trafficking for sex purposes the more disturbed I got. While the brothels and the massage parlors bothered me I had never thought twice about women who were caught in prostitution. Whether you agree with a woman's right to sell her own body or not is not really the issue, and it wasn't the issue that I thought about either, but moreover I always considered it her choice. Come to find out, there aren't very many women who are out there by choice. There are no hard and fast statistics on this (mainly because women are afraid to tell on their pimps, and even if they do they are rarely believed), but most women in prostitution are either trafficked or have been in the past. Only a few are out there because they "want" to be (and even then, is our society and economic system really prostituting these women out?).

More than that, however, consider the social stigma that comes along with being a prostitute. While pimps get praised with Academy Award winning songs such as "It's Hard Out There For a Pimp", when "Pimp My Ride" is a good thing, and when calling a man a "Pimp" or saying that he is "Pimpin'" as a reference to his popularity, wom
en who are the victims of these men are looked down upon and arrested, but rarely rescued from the hopeless situations in which they dwell. Pimps are not cool, they are not good, and it is certainly not "hard out there". Pimps are men who have almost always trafficked the women who they advertise on street corners, through craigslist (yes, craigslist), and in strip clubs.

Not only that, but these traffickers (usually men) are just meeting the demand for an even less stigmitized or recognized population...the johns who are visiting these women and paying the pimps. Johns who are caught (IF they are caught) rarely get punished with more than a fine or a slap on the wrist, yet you could easily argue that they are the whole reason that sex slavery exists. If there is no demand, there is no supply
. If there is demand there will be some kind of supply. And the supply can literally be anyone who has any kind of vulnerability. Pimps and traffickers can prey very easily on young women, and they often do. The average age of a trafficked woman is 12.

Trafficking exists everywhere. And trafficking is slavery. And we should all be abolitionists...every single one of us.


To learn more please go to the Polaris webpage. If you want to donate you can do it through my fundraising page at change.org.

If you would like to know more, please, don't hesitate to ask me. If I can't answer the questions, I'll find you an answer as soon as I can.

I want to leave you with this quote by Thomas Jefferson that is found on his memorial...



"God who gave us life gave us liberty. Can the liberties of a nation be secure when we have removed a conviction that these liberties are the gift of God? Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that his justice cannot sleep forever. Commerce between master and slave is despotism. Nothing is more certainly written in the book of fate than that these people are to be free..."




Home Sweet Home

For those of you who are curious (and for our families) here are pictures of our apartment!

This is what you see when you walk into the apartment.


Close up of the table. I'm pretty proud of my decorating skills. =)


Our "history" wall above our couch.


Our books on the wall opposite the window. One day we'll get another bookshelf.

Our "dining room".

Our IKEA bookshelves.
And a fish vase where our fish Jonah will go as soon as we can find a pet store.



The rest of the kitchen. Notice the lack of counter space...
(we had to buy the book shelves so we would have some!)



The kitchen wall with our fish theme!


Back the hall.
Hopefully we'll have to move the National Champions 2005 poster
for a National Champions 2009 poster soon. =)

The hall wall.

And our cute chair with flowers on it!




The bathroom. We like the window in the shower.

Our room.


Far Side Comics under the glass on the dresser top.
What? You can't read them? You'll just have to come visit us in Washington, DC!





Friday, October 10, 2008

The Rainbow Connection.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?

Kermit the Frog sings this song and I never know what to make of it. But none the less, it seems appropriate for the post. I always think that this song is hauntingly sad...at least, as sad as a song sung by a puppet frog can be. And that's kind of how I've been feeling lately. Not really sad...just hauntingly sad...maybe like a puppet frog.

Luke and I have been in DC for four weeks, two of those we were wanderers, one we had an apartment but no things, and last weekend we officially moved all of our things up to DC. How overwhelming. But hopefully this weekend we will get some stuff unpacked. It is illegal for offices in DC to be open on federal holidays, so I have Monday (Columbus Day) off! Hooray for unpacking! Then my apartment will be ready for all of you who will be coming to visit very soon.

As we drove into DC a couple of weeks ago we saw these rainbows...yes, plural. I don't know if you can really see the second one in the pictures, but I'll post them here and you can tell me...



(I didn't doctor the photos at all, this is how bright it was. And it stretched the entire way across the sky. Both rainbows. You can kind of see the second one above the first in the first two pictures. You can see it best in the first picture at the tree line. It was a little bit brighter in real life.)

But these rainbows lead me to read the story of Noah in the Bible, which I hadn't read for a very long time. It, like many stories in the Bible, is about God calling someone to do something crazy and ridiculous that no one else really understands fully and how He promises them something that in the end they may or may not get to see. And the adventure for them is deciding whether or not they are going to trust God regardless or if they are just going to go on with everyday life as they like it. And I realized reading this story that Luke and I are kind of in this position. I'm in an unpaid fellowship and Luke doesn't have a job. For some crazy (and as some would say, stupid) reason we are here because we think that God called us here. I'm absolutely overwhelmed and I have no idea where to go from here...how to make friends...who to reach out to...why I'm here...but there is some promise out there for us that God will take care of us. And though it might rain in our lives we will not be flooded with things that we cannot handle. And when it feels like we are (like leaving North Carolina and driving to DC...) God will send us rainbows to remind us (and apparently, as is says in the Old Testament, Him) that He will never flood the earth again.

I have always been and will (probably) always be an ENFP. I don't think that I have ever taken a Meyer's Briggs test and come out with any other outcome. I thought I might have changed, so I took it again this morning, and then, for fun (not because I had never read them before...) I read all of the little blurbs that come up about your personality afterwards. In one of them, there was a list of people who were ENFP's. Included was a list of FICTIONAL characters. How do you determine the personality type of a fictional character? I don't know...and I thought it was weird. I was pleased to find that Ariel the Mermaid was (or is?) an ENFP. No wonder I was obsessed at age 5. Steve Urkle is also an ENFP. The fictional characer...I don't know about Jaleel White.

It's weird to me, however, that even though I know that being around people make me feel better, my first response when I am lonely or sad is to want to be completely alone. I've found myself in this situation a couple of times. I don't know if I feel more vulnerable when I'm lonely and I don't want to be vulnerable or if I just want to wallow in my self-pitty. I've had to face a lot of things about myself in the past few weeks and as I realize these things I'm embarassed and I just want to hide away. From people. From God. Kristen talks about this a little bit in her blog. I'm not really sure of what to make of it yet. But I'm sure I will talk about it more soon.

I've been having dreams about tsunamis pretty consistently this last week. It's always me walking towards the beach and seeing this huge wave coming up over all the houses. And it always crashes in front of me and then I just swim around peacefully in the water. It's weird, and I can't find my dream dictionary from Hayley. This is sad.

I've also been listening to Delilah a lot (much to Luke's chagrin). I don't know what it is about Deliliah. She's sappy and nostalgic, I guess, and even though nothing about my personality says "This woman should listen to Delilah" I still do pretty regularly. I was talking to Luke about the day-mare I keep having where I plug something into an outlet and my finger is in the way and so I get electricuted and die. I asked Luke if he would call into Delilah and dedicate a song to me. He said he would ask her to play the Electric Slide.

That's all for now.