Judgemental.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be judgemental these past few weeks. Is it good, is it bad, what are the boundaries, are there boundaries...stuff like that. I've also been thinking about whether or not anybody truly is or isn't judgemental. I'd like to think that I'm not judgemental, but really, I kind of choose who I do or do not judge...and the more I see people claiming to be non-judgemental the more I think it's that way with everyone...

I was thinking about Jesus, and about how He's really the only one who has a right to judge anybody. But if we are to follow His example, it doesn't mean that we don't judge, but rather that we speak the truth in love...but what that really looks like I have yet to see from myself, especially.

I'm not going to into it all here (I know, I know, I've been saying that a lot lately), but here is something that made me giggle (you guessed it, it's Pearls Before Swine...these guys basically define my life in so many aspects...but I'm okay with that...)


(click it to make it bigger)

Picture Project Post, June 10-June 25

It's been awhile. I realize that. It's just been a pretty crazy two weeks. And the next two will be pretty crazy as well. Goodbye June! Maybe after that I'll be able to get a handle on things and blog a little bit more. I'll be unemployed again, so there should be a little less sleeping and a little more quality time with my computer and job applications. Job applications are always a good reason to blog.

I've been doing pretty well recently. Not physically, and emotionally is on and off (that's how I work...), but spiritually I've been doing really well. God has been teaching me so much about praising Him, and about who He is and how He cares for people. It really is such a wonderful thing to praise God simply for who He is rather than what He's done. After all, He loves me for who I am, and definitely not for what I've done (and it's a good thing). Through the Psalms (especially), but also through the lives of people like David, Solomon and the accompanying characters throughout the Old Testament, God has shown me time and time again His infinite mercy and love, His passion for the oppressed and poor, and His mighty power over all that exist. I love phrases like:

"My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise His holy name for ever and ever."

And it's true. Even the breeze rustling through the trees, the beautiful sunsets that light up our western sky and the birds chirping early in the morning through our open windows speak of His praise.

God's sustenance and provision through all circumstances and at all times is mind-boggling. How He provides us with what we need when we need it--and not a moment too late or too early (even though it might be way more comfortable if He provided earlier rather than later...). I've just learned to trust in His will more than mine, and praise Him in whatever circumstance. And I hope I can hold onto that during my upcoming time of unemployment and uncertainty about what the future holds for Luke and I. (and when I start feeling sorry for myself, please remind me of this post...).

I have lots of thoughts I am yearning to share, but I also have 16 pictures to post for you. So maybe next week I'll catch up. Or the week after that (we have two packed weekends coming up--this weekend in Texas for a wedding and next weekend backpacking for our anniversary!). So no promises, but hopefully a real post coming your way soon. But, for now, enjoy these pictures.

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June 10, 2009: I love the neighborhood where I work...it's filled with small children, sidewalk chalk and pets. This fellow was staring at me on my way to work on Wednesday (I know, June 10th was a long time ago...).

June 11, 2009: As I think I mentioned in a previous post, the bathroom at Polaris matches my eyes and the shirt I typically wear during an overnight shift. Here is the proof. I was bored, and it was a slow week for pictures. =)

June 12, 2009: I met my mom, dad and two of my sisters at IHOP for pancakes, strawberries and a lively discussion about their mission trip, my work, and life in general. I love my family a whole, whole lot.






June 13, 2009: On Saturday Luke and I explored the nearby Franciscan Monastery, as well as a couple of trails in the Rock Creek Park system of Washington, DC. The Franciscan Monastery was really interesting. It holds "exact replicas" of "places every Christian should go"--like shrines in the Holy Land, etc. This is an "exact replica" of St. Francis' first church. I like it a lot better than the massive Monastery devoted to him. For some reason I think that he would too...
June 14, 2009: On Sunday we went kayaking on the Potomac with our friend Edison. It was so much fun, and I will gladly go with any of you people who want to come visit. Unfortunately, I did not take my camera on the kayak for fear of it getting wet. In the future, I will not make that mistake. However, this is us afterward on a little patch of grass, which we sat on after we took the picture. I love laying in the grass, and would gladly spend every afternoon of my life lounging in the grass with good friends.

June 15, 2009: Monday's have taken up a reputation as garden days for me. This is our okra, which is doing splendidly well, as you can sort of (but not really) tell from this picture. I really am starting to love gardening. I wish I had done it more with my dad growing up. He would have taught me lots of tricks and secrets because he is really good at it.

June 16, 2009: I didn't mention that the Franciscan Monastery is right near where I go to therapy. I decided, after visiting it's beautiful gardens, that after therapy on Tuesdays I would have my quiet time in the peaceful gardens of the Monastery. This is a statue near where I had my quiet time. She is located in the middle of the garden in a field of roses (which you can't really tell from this picture). I really like her a lot.

June 17, 2009: Frequently after an overnight shift I will come home to little sticky notes all over the place, left to my by my wonderful husband, that declare his love for me when I am participating in certain events--such as brushing my teeth or looking for something to eat--or in this case, looking at the lovely flowers he bought for me. I do have a wonderful husband.

June 18, 2009: We had some members of our small group over for the goodness sloppy joes. I haven't yet confessed to our new found Washington DC friends my obsession for taking pictures, so instead of taking one of them while they were here and they could see me, I creeped around and took one of them while they were leaving...I know. I'm a creeper.







June 19, 2009: Leaving for our first wedding celebration in three weeks (we'll count our anniversary as a celebration of a wedding too...). We got to ride a train to the airport, and if you can't tell by Luke's obvious running towards the train, he was really, really excited.

June 20, 2009: The wedding was of Luke's cousin, Drew to Allison. It was a wonderful wedding, sweet and fun. This is Drew singing to Allison at the reception. I'll confess, it is not my picture. I didn't take my camera to the wedding because I didn't have anything to carry it in. So I stole this one from Kendall (another one of Luke's cousins) off of facebook. It was such a sweet moment, though, I needed to include it in my project.

June 21, 2009: I really like flying when it's cloudy out and I get a window seat. It's like a whole new world...





June 22, 2009: It's VBS week at Washington International Church. I'll confess...I love VBS week. I even like the corny little kids songs. I've been singing them to Luke all week...SON ROCK KIDS CAMP!

June 23, 2009: The beginning of this week was gorgeous--sunny and not humid at all, with a nice breeze. I didn't have therapy this week because my therapist is out of town, so instead, after Bible School, I headed to Rock Creek Park and sat outside in nature to praise God. It was glorious. I really like the colors of nature...

June 24, 2009: Who needs LA? I was up all night with the stars. Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson are shooting a movie in DC and they were working on a scene across the street from Polaris all night on Tuesday/Wednesday night. You can't really tell here, but the next picture is proof that something big is actually happening in DC. The people in Adams Morgan (a posh neighborhood where all of this went down) may be weird and slightly self-centered, but they do not have cameras and lights everywhere...that equipment is for the movie stars....





June 25, 2009: Hooray! All caught up. Today at VBS there was a traveling petting zoo, complete with one of the world's smallest horses and this alpaca. It was a big hit, as you can imagine.

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Well that's that. Have a fantastic Friday and a happy weekend y'all.

Smiles.

Today has been a good day (well, except for Luke being sick). But before Luke got sick, we went and explored the Franciscan Monastery and gardens and then we went hiking around Rock Creek Park.

I like it when I can be outside and put my toes in the water. I might even be starting to like D.C. and the different places that it offers, the different religions, the different languages. I like that on my way home on any given day I can hear 4 different languages between the front door of Polaris and our apartment...

I decided to end my time at Polaris. June 30 will be my last overnight shift, and from July until September I'll be picking up 3-4 shifts a month that other people can't cover. It isn't exactly the way I imagined it happening when I made the appointment with my boss...but unfortunately I have always had a really, really, really hard time saying no to things...

But anyways, there have been lots of things that have been making me smile lately, and I thought that I would share them with you.

Luke: "I was making my puffy cheeks face..."

And I've mentioned that I love Pearls Before Swine, right?

We saw this "Hanks be to God" license plate on the way home from the park. Luke's comment was "He's not THAT good of an actor..."

My friend Edison and I had this conversation early on Friday morning:

elisabeth: i feel sorry for people when their glasses break

it makes me want to cry

luke was telling me about a guy from his work whose glasses fell out of his pocket and broke

and i almost criedi know, weird

epark: geez...good thing you don't have glasses

me: true that

epark: i hope your kids will take you in that way

me: me too

either that or that they get glasses at age 4

me: cause little kids with glasses are so freaking cute

epark: yes they are!
epark: but i think you should still name your son peter teaterme: okay, peter teater with baby glasses

=)

epark: hehehe

me: the teasing will never end!

aw

he'll be doomed from birth

epark: are you crying?

me: almost

epark: i'll teach him taekwondo

then no one will mess with him

me: sweet!

epark: when they see peter teater baby glasses breaking a wooden board, they won't mess with him

And lastly, Luke said this to me on Thursday after I quit.

Elisabeth: i just need a hug...and i won't even see anybody until tomorrow
Luke: haha, i was about to type "I wish i was there to give you a hug"

I have a good husband who loves me lots and makes me laugh.

Sorry for the mushy love stuff. =)

the judas in me

every so often while i'm working the overnight shift i hit a point where i get so tired that i cannot keep my eyes open. it's at that point i usually stand up and move around, and sometimes i'll even move the laptop to a high point on a desk or stack it up on some books so that i can stand up and work at the same time. usually it happens between 5:30 and 6:30.

tonight it happened at 3:45.

i haven't had any calls. no wait, i've had one call. a hang-up. what we call a "non-starter". i'm sorry, mr. chester, even though i decided that i would very much like to meet you over tea and discuss classical music, gardening tips and small dogs, not even your voice is getting me through tonight. i am yearning for human contact...

which brings me here. i have a list of things i need to get done tonight. especially if the call volume remains at nil. but for sanity's sake, writing a stream of conscious on this silly blog might be the best thing for me and for the person who relieves me from my shift in the morning.

every night when i'm on my shift i wear a green shirt that matches my eyes and coincidentally the bathroom wall. therefore, when i go into the bathroom for a various number of reasons and look in the mirror parts of me look like they are missing and simply blending in. i wish i was a chameleon. i think it would be pretty amazing.

i've been thinking a lot in my quiet times about how we are always supposed to praise God. i know that i wrote about this before, but it's been such an overwhelming and continuing theme for me i cannot get it off my mind. i really think that God is trying to speak to me...if only i could stay awake long enough to listen. every time it gets quiet in my heart i fall asleep. i read psalm 67 today, and again, it occurs. the only reason God blesses is so that they can praise Him. and they are lead to praise Him before He even blesses. this is so contrary to the way i have seen myself (and many, many others) react. instead of praising God whether or not we feel blessed, we wait for the blessing and then praise God. i know that i have a hard time praising God when i'm tired, sick, frustrated, etc. i want Him to bless me and then i will worship Him. but the more i think about it, the more i truly believe that the blessing is in the praise...

my little sister, Katie, is in Kenya for the summer. i'm exceedingly proud that she is there and i cannot wait for her to come home to tell me lots of stories. in an email today she wrote about how in Kenya the main goal of the church is to win people to Christ and then meet their physical needs. while i think that both are necessary, i think that i usually have them flipped around. while i think in the united states it is harder for us to openly share our faith before we have helped those in need, i wonder if this is backwards...wanting the blessing before the Blesser... shouldn't the goal be to welcome people into praising God first...isn't that the greatest gift of all?

sometimes i think that praying for the needy rather than giving them money is a cop-out. but maybe not praying for them is cheating them out of something far greater than money...

i'm not saying that i think we should stop meeting the needs of those around us. i'm just saying that maybe when the woman was anointing Jesus with the perfume and judas asked about giving the money to the poor, maybe Jesus referred to something much deeper when He said "the poor will always be with you, but you will not always have Me..." maybe Jesus was saying that right now is a beautiful moment. you are together with poor and rich, with those who believe and those who don't, and you are experiencing the ultimate experience of true love and praise...yes, the poor will always be with you*, but praise is the most important thing.

or maybe Jesus wasn't saying that at all.

though another things sticks out to me. i'm a whole lot like judas in this passage. thinking that money could have been used for better things. giving it to the poor to help someone eat...or even live (that stuff was expensive!) but what experiences to i miss out on because i am consumed with things of this world rather than with heavenly things. what experiences to i deny to others because of my savior-complex? i don't save. Jesus alone saves...praise God?

yes, of course! praise God! amen!

unfortunately i think i'm akin to judas in more ways than that...

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*though i also believe that while Jesus may be reminding us that praise is the most important thing, he's also reminding us of the passage in deuteronomy 15:11 which states "there will always be poor people in the land. therefore i command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land...". i do not think it's a coincidence...

Picture Project Post--May 28 to June 9

Morning. Every over night shift I think it will get a little bit better. Maybe this time I'll be used to it...but instead I find myself, at 4:00 every morning of the over night shift doing faux-ballet (is that even the right way to use faux?) to WETA Classical music trying to keep myself awake...

I decided yesterday that I would probably be happier volunteering my life away than working two over-night shifts...we'll see where that thought takes me.

Lately I have not had many coherent thoughts. Just a tangled mess of who knows what. Therefore, I'll just move right along to the picture part...

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May 28, 2009: I know that you aren't supposed to have soup in the summer, but I had some leftover lentils and so we had lentil soup and fresh vegetables and it was absolutely splendid. This soup is the best soup you'll ever have. Try it. You'll love it.

May 29, 2009: On Friday Luke and I went to see Pixar's new film Up. It was wonderful, as all Pixar films are. We didn't see it in 3D, but we definitely don't think that we missed much. The villain was a little bit random, but other than that I laughed, I cried (yes, cried...) and thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

May 30, 2009: On Saturday Luke, Uzma and I piled into Otto to head to IKEA (where else?) go find a bookshelf (finally!) for our apartment. We found the perfect one, but unfortunately it wouldn't fit in Otto! So Uzma and I crowded into the backseat and the bookshelf rode shotgun.

May 31, 2009: And on Sunday I came home after work, and my wonderful husband had already assembled the thing. The right picture (the picture of the day) is what it looked like before the finishing touches (completed on Saturday). And below is what it looked like after the finishing touches.
















June 1, 2009: One of the downsides to working this job is that I feel constantly exhausted, even if I don't work the night before. Therefore I don't do much. And since I've decided to be real on this blog, I'll be real with you...on Monday, June 1 I spent the entire day watching Scrubs, Season 6. I know...lame.


June 2, 2009: On Tuesday I was slightly more productive and ran errands. I also spent 5 hours getting little Otto's breaks fixed...I also had somewhat of a breakdown while driving in Otto. Otto saw my best and worst that day...well, maybe just
my worst.

June 3, 2009: We had a terrific storm and we spent the night in front of the window watching North Capitol Street flood and the fantastic lightning display. In case you can't tell, this is Luke standing in front of the window...it was one of the only shots I got with the sky lighting up, though you can't really tell...


June 4, 2009: I was sick a lot of last week, so I stayed home from work on Thursday and we spent the night relaxing, reading and listening to the rain.

June 5, 2009: Luke's
company had their 6th Anniversary and they celebrated with a fancy dinner at Corduroy, which was probably the fanciest restaurant either of us have ever been in. It had delicious food, wonderful wine, and it was made even better by the fact that we did not have to pay. It was a really fun night.

June 6, 2009: Saturday we ran some errands, ate pizza and watched North by Northwest, but mostly we read. And more than that, I finished my three year pursuit of The Brothers Karamazov. It really was a good book in the end, but the most wonderful part was knowing that, even though it took me three years, I actually finished the darn thing. Though I would like to read it again, now that I know I can. I imagine that there are lots of nuances and brilliant statements Mr. Dostoyevsky put in his book that I missed because of how long it took me to finish...
June 7, 2009: Sunday after church Luke and I took a scenic drive to the Potomac Ridge. It really is a pretty ride, a lot of it looks like this--kind of like the country-side of North Carolina...We also got Luke new shoes, since he lost one on the beach trip. Luke wanted the picture of the day to be the picture to the right,
and while it's cute, I couldn't bear myself to cut out a picture of nature. Plus, the day was overall described by the above picture. We met my parents at IHOP for dinner (they were on their way to Philly) and when we got home we saw the most amazing sunset(below). The sunsets we see from our apartment keep me sane. I think that God knew I would need little joys every night...point being nature overrides new shoes. Sorry, Luke.












June 8, 2009: I worked in the garden and finished planting my cucumbers and squash! I like it when I see bugs and worms in the garden with me, and today I was joined by this little lady bug.

June 9, 2009: Like I said earlier, after therapy today I walked around Brookland and took pictures of houses and flowers. I may be a creeper for taking pictures in front of other's houses, but it's a compliment, really, so they should just be happy. I really liked this picture the best...

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Well, that's all for me. I'm off to write and review protocols for the new employees coming in for training at the end of the week!

Maybe one day I will have something substantial to write about...

blank.

When I grow up I want to live in a big house like this, full of people (family, friends and strangers), with a big back yard full of kids and animals and a front yard with flowers instead of grass. Kind of this one...

This morning after therapy I walked around Brookland and the Franciscan Monastery in the rain and took pictures of flowers and thought about nothing. It was glorious.

I know that I need to do a picture post. Maybe later tonight...

Pro-Life, Pro-Choice...Nay, Pro-Politics

I was listening to NPR yesterday morning and they were discussing the murder of late-term abortion doctor George Tiller and they introduced Nancy Keenan, President of NARAL and Tom McClusky, Vice President of Family Research Council's Legislative Group to the show to discuss the murder.

At first I thought, how silly, of course both of these groups will agree that the death of any already born person is horrific, even though they disagree on the pre-natal term "life" and whether or not that life can be killed and whether or not it's choice...you know the arguments.

Unfortunately I found out very quickly how wrong I was.

Now, I realize that these two people were asked questions, and that their answers were probably spliced and edited and all of those things that sneaky people do in order to get a good story.

But neither the "Pro-Choice" side or the "Pro-Life" side stated that there was anything upsetting about the murder of this man.

Instead what I heard was this:

"I hope those Pro-Lifers understand how their nasty rhetoric caused this death" and "I hope those Pro-Choicers realize that their 'choices' caused this death"

As well as this:

"I hope those Pro-Choice people don't use this as amunition to get bills passed against the Pro-Life movement" and "I can't wait to use this as amunition to get bills passed agains the Pro-Life movement".

(Paraphrase, of course).

(I should also point out that there was one Pro-Life individual who did express some sorrow over the death of the doctor, but in the same breath preceded to talk about how it will indeed spur the "child-killing movement" to move against the pro-life movement).

Now, I happen to believe that what Dr. Tiller was doing was wrong. But I also happen to believe that what Scott Roeder did was wrong.

And I realize that Nancy Keenan and Tom McClusky do not speak for both sides of the entire movements they represent, but in that NPR interview neither side won. And humanity didn't win. Politics won.

In the constant battle between the pro-life and pro-choice movements women don't win. Babies definitely don't win. Humanity doesn't win. Politics fight in order to try to win.

And I wonder if we forgot politics and made it about people if everyone would win more. If the pro-choice side sought better adoptions laws and better standards of care for the children that we have instead of fighting for the right to keep abortion legal then children would win. And if the pro-life movement raised money to care for mother's after they have their children, and built networks to help support them during pregnancy then women would win. *

Besides seeking, raising and building are better options for all humanity than fighting...

*I realize that both sides have members who do those things...I just wish it was more like everyone...