go on up to the mountain of mercy...

it was not a good day. it was one of those days where nothing really goes wrong, but even less goes right. frustration abounds until it bubbles up and makes you do and say things that just end up making you feel guilty and then more frustrated. but God is good. and for some reason, this morning i woke up with this song in my head. and i needed it in my head all day, because it reminds me of His grace.

go on up to the mountain of mercy
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down at the shore
be thirsty no more
go under, and be purified

follow Christ to the Holy mountain
sinner, sorry and wrecked by the fall
cleanse your heart and your soul
in the fountain that flows
for you and for me and for all

at the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
on that beautiful, scandalous night, you and me
were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
on that beautiful, scandalous night

on the hillside you will be delivered
at the foot of the cross, justified
and your spirit restored
by the river that pours
from our blessed Savior's side

at the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
on that beautiful, scandalous night, you and me
were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
on that beautiful, scandalous night

You carry the sin of mankind on Your back
and the sky went black
go on up to the mountain of mercy
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down on the shore
be thirsty no more
go under and be purified

at the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
on that beautiful, scandalous night, you and me
were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
on that beautiful, scandalous night
on that beautiful, scandalous night
beautiful, scandalous, miraculous night

thinking out.

i made 12 dozen cookies last night and one pan of brownies. we took them all to church today on the bus for the lunch fellowship we have every week after the service. we went to bed and woke up smelling the sweet aromas of baked goods. it was delightful.

the cherry blossoms and daffodils are blooming all across dc. it's beautiful, and it makes running and walking everywhere much nicer. it's also considerably warmer, which also helps.


it's wrestle-mania night tonight. we saw in the free metro paper that the undertaker is apparently making a big showing tonight. our neighbor is a big fan of the undertaker, and so are all of his friends. they like to cheer so loudly that we can often hear them all the way back in our bedroom.

we've been thinking about our situation lately. about the bus, about our neighbors, about our neighborhood. i think God is reminding us of our dependence on and interconnectedness with others. i think this will be key as we move on to the next step in our lives.

we're headed to oklahoma this weekend to hear about what God is doing in the slums and how we might join Him. we'll see.

some days are filled with life and laughter. others, not so much. most of the time, i have no idea what God is doing. but i feel like we're on the brink of something big here. and i'm ready to jump...if only i knew where...

lessons from saint patrick.

on wednesday, march 17, commonly known as "saint patrick's day", i saw these two men walking down the street towards the white house on my way to work.

saint patrick's day is incredibly bizarre to me. for some people, they intentionally do not wear green or celebrate the day. for others, it is an excellent reason to go get drunk. still others care nothing about the day and it passes without much consequence.

i think i fall somewhere in the middle, we wore green and ate corn beef and cabbage with friends. but most of all, we listened to and retold the story about saint patrick. i taught it to my kids in sunday school, i listened to it again on wednesday night at perspectives. it's such a cool story, and i wanted to share it here, though i'm sure many of you know it already.

___________________________

patrick was born in england around 387 ad to an english deacon father. his grandfather was a priest. when patrick was 16 years old he was kidnapped by pirates and sold into slavery to an irish man where he herded cows and pigs for six years.

one day, when patrick was out in the fields, he had a vision that told him to get up, his ship was ready. so patrick got up, ran away from his master, and headed to the nearest shore (which was about 200 miles away). when he got there he found a ship waiting, he asked if he could have passage back to england, and they took him home.

a few years later, patrick had another vision:

"i saw a man coming, as it were from ireland. his name was victoricus, and he carried many letters, and he gave me one of them. i read the heading: 'the voice of the irish'. as i began the letter, i imagined in that moment that i heard the voice of those very people who were near the wood of foclut, which is beside the western sea—and they cried out, as with one voice: 'we appeal to you, holy servant boy, to come and walk among us.' "

so patrick went. and he is credited for bringing christianity to ireland.

_________________________

so when i celebrate st. patrick's day, i celebrate missions. the kind of missions that saves and redeems and brings complete and absolute glory to God. what a crazy way to follow God--back to a land where you were held as a slave, to a land that was barbaric. talk about turning the other cheek! he was free! back in england with his family, with whom he had no contact for 6 years. and he left to go back to the very people who had taken him away to begin with.

this week our perspectives lesson was on the task remaining. we talked about what unreached people groups are left. people who have no opportunity to hear of the love of Jesus because nobody around them has ever heard The Story either. 40% of the world lives among these people. 40% of the world has never heard. and only 10% of the missionaries are going.

as we were discussing this, the speaker (who just so happened to be our associate minister this week) told a story about two young moravians and their desire to reach people who had no opportunity to hear. they were drawn to an island where slaves were kept to be traded and sold. the island was owned by an atheist slave trainer, who proudly stated that no christian would ever set foot on his island. so these two young men, grieved by these men and women who would never hear of the love of Christ, sold themselves into slavery to the slave trader and used the money to buy their passage onto the island. as they were leaving their friends and family, hugging them goodbye for the last time ever, shedding, i'm sure many tears and climbing onto the boat, one of the young men turned, and as he waved goodbye for one last time he yelled "worthy is the Lamb who was slain...".

worthy is the Lamb. worthy of all glory and power and honor. worthy of all the praise of all the people on the earth. of every people group, ethnicity and nationality.

what would it look like if i lived like the Lamb is worthy?

the name of the fish.

i went running yesterday morning. luke was tired, so he didn't come with me. i decided to listen to npr while i ran. it was oddly refreshing. at the end of my run, garrison keillor read me this:

the name of a fish
by faith shearin

If winter is a house then summer is a window
in the bedroom of that house. Sorrow is a river
behind the house and happiness is the name

of a fish who swims downstream. The unborn child
who plays the fragrant garden is named Mavis:
her red hair is made of future and her sleek feet

are wet with dreams. The cat who naps
in the bedroom has his paws in the sun of summer
and his tail in the moonlight of change. You and I

spend years walking up and down the dusty stairs
of the house. Sometimes we stand in the bedroom
and the cat walks towards us like a message.

Sometimes we pick dandelions from the garden
and watch the white heads blow open
in our hands. We are learning to fish in the river

of sorrow; we are undressing for a swim.

spring has sprung in the city. there are flowers shooting up everywhere, just like the magnolia tree in the middle of the city. i spent a good 10 minutes taking pictures of this tree while people rushed around me on their way to work.

i know i haven't written for all of march. maybe this weekend...

mr. peep goes to washington, etc.

i want to ride (and own) a bike that looks like this:

it was the orchid show down at the botanic gardens and so we went down today with the sallis' after church.

the beauty of flowers remind me how much God loves us humans. there isn't any reason for flowers to be this intricate and stunning:



we spent the rest of the weekend laying around, avoiding work and watching movies about discrimination, and how it is bad. oh, and i also made this:

"we the peeple" courtesy of mom and dad t.

sometimes i miss my puppy.


but this man (who decided the big leaves made him look like a donkey, and thus he acted appropriately...) makes me smile:


i have thoughts, lots of thoughts. like about how i like that they decided to put colorful rocking chairs at this bus station:
and i have other thoughts, too. but i have a lot of work to do. but i'm going away skiing this weekend, and i'm pretty excited.

Peeps.

I think I'm going to enter this contest (click). I'm not 100% sure, but the pictures are amazing and it looks like a lot of fun!

I'm trying to come up with an idea. While I haven't given it a whole lot of thought yet, some of the initial ideas Luke and I had were (in no particular order...):

1. Field of Peeps
2. Peep Fiction
3. Mr. Peep Goes to Washington
4. It's a Wonderful Peep
5. Peepter Pan
6. The Peep of Oz

You can cast your vote or add your own ideas in the comments section. Pictures are due on March 1st (eek!) so if you have an idea, get it in fast! I think we're going to make it this weekend...we'll see!

on lent.

so lent is here. i've been thinking a lot about lent and what it means to me this year and what it has meant to me in the past. in the past i think i've used lent (unconsciously, of course) as a way to start a habit in order to benefit me, rather than in order to draw me closer to God. while some may draw closer to God from giving up chocolate, i don't think i actually ever did. really i just wanted to try to lose a few pounds. so this year i wanted to use lent to draw me closer to God. this year there is no giving up chocolate (and thank goodness, because valentine's day sale candy is my favorite part of valentine's day...)

and thus it begins.

the main thing that has been separating me from God recently is twofold:

1. i have not been appreciative of where i am.
2. i have not been thankful for where i am going.

lately i have done nothing much other than compare myself to others.

she has a dslr camera...i want a dslr camera.
they have a dog...i want a dog.
they are buying a house...i want a house.
they live in the mountains...i want to live in the mountains.

and on, and on, and on. often i wonder who i am, why God made me the way He did, and why He seems to be calling us to something that is hard, something that will hurt, something that will not be comfortable. why do i have to follow God to a slum in a far away land while other people can follow God in the mountains of north carolina with a house and a puppy? why am i living in dc, far away from my family, in an apartment that is loud and smelly with people who don't look like me while other people get to move to charlotte, where they live closer to their family and in a place where people look like them?

now i'm not saying that others callings are more or less than ours. they aren't easier or harder. they are unique and equal, just as we are all unique, God calls us to unique places and unique ministries.

today i was reading how to inherit the earth by scott bessenecker and he was talking about this exact thing. he spoke of how the disciples john and peter were probably good friends, probably the closest friends of all the disciples. he spoke of how this probably lead to some competition--peter eager to gain the upper hand by walking on water and proclaiming Jesus as the Messiah, john outright asking Jesus if he could sit at His right hand in the kingdom. and at the end of Jesus' time on earth He takes peter aside and He tells peter to feed His sheep and nurture His flock. and then He tells peter that He is going to by martyred. and peter looks over at john and says "what about that guy" and Jesus pretty much says, "he's going to live forever, but that is no matter to you because you follow me, regardless of what john does." i'm sure that made peter pretty upset. why does that kid get to live forever, when i have to get tied up and lead places that i don't want to go? (you can read all about it in john 21). but Jesus had a plan for peter and a plan for john and he has a plan for me and for my friends in the mountains and in charlotte and chapel hill.

scott bessenecker said this, and it spoke directly to me:

...following Jesus into a costly calling which is already a poor fit with out natural gifts and wiring will never be easily embraced if we look off to the side at those "other disciples" who seem to be more naturally gifted for the task, especially when our calling appears more costly than the calling of those who are better suited to the job. it starts to look as if Jesus loves them more. that kind of comparison derails humble submission and following...

so what does all this have to do with lent, you ask?

my lenten goal is this:

to stop looking elsewhere, focus on God, and learn to enjoy the uniqueness of my calling.

and here are the first steps i am going to take:

i am going to stop complaining. i am going to stop complaining out loud first. and hopefully, eventually, the complaints in my head will stop as well.

i am not going to get on facebook. seeing other people and their status updates and their pictures make me wish that i was someone else, that i was somewhere else or that i had something else.

i am going to limit my time online mindlessly clicking through blogs and checking email or chatting on gchat. i want to catch up with friends over the phone, learn about my passions, read more, and spend more quality time with my husband. also, less time online means more free time to pursue a deep relationship with God.

so that's that. we'll see how it goes and what God shows me. if nothing else, giving up complaining will most likely get me into some pretty funny situations where all i want to do is complain. it already has...ask me about them after lent...in the meantime i'll be finding joy in the things i want to complain about. for example, even though the snow slows everything down it is amazingly beautiful...

...and it's pretty hilarious to watch dc try to move it all...


so i'll keep you updated. and i hope those of you who participate in lent will do the same for me. and remember, there is grace in lent. lets lift our failings and our successes up to God for each other.