what is it about january 1st that makes us feel like we are starting over new and that we can achieve new goals and dreams? i don't know, really. but i've always bought into it. and this year is no different. i know that most of the time my goals are lofty and usually they reflect more of an ideal me than something that is actually attainable in my own power. generally, therefore, i like to chose goals that make me depend on God to change me, but set up things i can do that i think will make the task easier for Him (ha!).
last year my goals were simple: i wanted to read through the Bible in a year and i wanted to take one picture a day.
as you know, the second one i finished last night. but the first one--the important one--was not so readily completed. in fact, as i sat this morning reading through the end of the old testament (yes, i only got through the OT...) i realized that something drastic needs to change in my life. i was looking at the "read through the Bible in a year" plan that i was using and noticed that (at most) i had a quiet time 3/4 of the time this year. and it isn't even really that, seeing as there were many, many days that i read two days readings on the same day. it is likely that i only had a quiet time for half of the days in 2009. which, unfortunately, is probably typical.
luke and i are thinking that this year will be the year we find an organization to go overseas with. in the process of preparing we've been doing some research and reading some books, such as new friars by scott bessenecker (who i've mentioned several times). in one of the chapters he talks about how in order to be effective (and even remotely worthwhile) on the mission field we must be more in love with the Sender than His mission. how can i know the Sender when i am obsessed, instead, with the mission. and how founded are my frustrations in feeling direction-less when i have not been seeking the One who will give me direction first and foremost?
so in this, i've been thinking about my resolutions for this year. i've decided, instead, on two themes: simplicity and humility. i'm not quite sure what these look like yet. i know that it will involve setting some boundaries on my time--making time first and foremost for God and His purposes; realizing that if He is worth anything, He is worth everything--no matter how scary, frustrating or exciting the journey may be. i want to write more letters (my goal is one a week) and remember more birthdays. i want to spend less time on the computer and more time reading and talking to luke and to friends and family. i want to take advantage of free things in DC and enjoy my surroundings. i want to be content in all my life circumstances, but restless and passionate in my relationship with God and what He wants for my life and for the lives of those who surround me.
and i want humility--to realize that i am not always right (and in fact, i am usually wrong). to realize that others deserve to be heard and given a chance--even if i want to write them off at first. and most importantly, to truly realize that i am always and only dependent on God.
the goal of simplicity and humility is not easy. boundaries and schedules are not, and have never been, my thing. but i feel confident that God is really going to help me grow in this. and i'll come out a stronger woman, more ready to be used by Him.
oh, and i'm also going to read nelson mandela's memoir--a long walk to freedom.
and as an added bonus, here are my 2009 favorites:
old testament prophet: micah
new musical group: the weepies
finished book: the brothers karamazov
rediscovered love: anne of green gables
timeless classic: bluegrass music
there are other favorites, but i'll leave you with that for now. happy 2010 everyone!
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